By Russ Forster, April 2003
BULLY LOGIC
There's
been a incredible rise in what I think of as "bully
logic" in the past few months that has been dragging
me back to bad times in high school and disturbing me greatly. Let me set the
scene:
It's the spring of 1978 (yes, 25 years ago, phew!).
I am the King Nerd at my high school in the suburbs of Chicago; so painfully
shy that I barely speak at all to anyone, though I get straight A's
in my classes just the same. I'm walking home from
school minding my own business, hoping that I can just be invisible to the
world for a little while, and then I hear the squeal of overworked tires and a
familiar mantra: "Hey FAGGOT"
I avert my eyes and pretend not to hear, but it leaves me with a feeling that
goes beyond the temporary embarrassment. I know that I've
been the victim of a drive-by bullying, and something inside me vows to oppose
the kind of bullies who would do that sort of thing for the rest of my life.
Flash
forward to 2000. There's a guy on TV with a smug
smirking little smile on his face and an attitude of total self-satisfaction,
and he's running for President of the United States.
All of a sudden something flashes me back to those kids yelling their stupid
epithet at me. And I realize that this presidential candidate is like the
grown up version of my past tormentors, filled with the certainty that
everyone is a "FAGGOT" except for his family, friends and supporters. And it
seems like people vote for him so that they can be the yellers of epithets
rather than those who get epithets yelled at them. Of course, I side with the
"FAGGOT"s and vote against Mr. Smug, but he bullies his way into the White
House anyway.
Ahead
to 2001. King Bully is crowned, and lives up to everything I expected of him
in the first few months in office. It's all, "US
against the rest of the world," as he guts what little goodwill America has
with other civilized nations by refusing to sign treaties, reneging on
previously solid agreements, and constantly taking the undiplomatic attitude
of "It's my way or the highway." Worse yet, he
surrounds himself with the most unpleasant cast of characters seen since the
days of Richard Nixon's "Plumbers". Ari Fleischer
shoots verbal bullets instead of answering questions, Don Rumsfeld has all the
charm of a snarling pit bull, and Condaleeza Rice is constantly looking for
some new terrible world force to replace the Soviet Union and fulfill her Cold
War fantasies. Trouble is, the Bully Crüe is looking for enemies is the wrong
places, and in September they get a rude awakening. But tragedy makes lambs
out of bullies (at least temporarily), and a conciliatory tone is adopted by
King Bully, surprising me to no end, and making me wonder if I had misjudged
the man. Even the rest of the world, annoyed at us days earlier, are willing
to sympathize and empathize in our time of need.
Now to 2003. So much for the goodwill of the world. King Bully pisses it all
away by going back to "It's our way or the highway"
once again. And what's worse, he and his followers
have gone into high gear with the epithets. "FAGGOT" becomes "TERRORIST",
"TRAITOR", or the favorite of the pro-war demonstrators, "ASSHOLE". And their
hallowed leader smirks on, calling throngs of protesters "FOCUS GROUPS" as his
henchman in the Pentagon condescendingly characterizes France and Germany as
"OLD EUROPE". It all becomes reminiscent of a previous King Bully, a senator
by the name of Joseph McCarthy. All you have to do is substitute the word
"TERRORIST" for "COMMUNIST" and you"re on your way, while Condaleeza Rice
grins orgasmically as we invade a country run by someone who looks
suspiciously like her arch-nemesis Joseph Stalin. And it leaves me wondering
how all those bullies who yelled hurtful epithets out of their Trans-Am
windows at me got control of the country, and got so many people to follow
them.
"FAGGOT"s of the world, unite! Let's get our 8-track
players revved-up and run the bullies out of town! With humor and intellect on
our side, we can not fail!
-- Russ Forster, April 2003
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