The Truth About Porno 8-Tracks

by Abigail Lavine

Come on, admit it. You're curious. If you have ever seen them, porno 8-tracks have beckoned to you, promising tawdry thrills. For everyone who has wondered about them, I took the time to actually listen to some of these things. The ones I heard were surprisingly lacking in the kind of elevator music one usually associates with porn. In fact, they were the very lowest of low budget recordings. Everything seemed to be recorded in real time in someone's kitchen, without rehearsal and largely improvised. OK, already, I'll tell you what I heard - a lot of very actor and actressy sounding people talking about things they claimed to be doing to themselves and to each other. And that's about it. Oh yeah, there were a few wet slapping noises in the background. Actually, another version of this artform is alive and well today. I'm referring, of course, to prerecorded phone sex. Call one of those numbers in the back of Hustler and you'll hear almost the same thing as I've just described, but you'll be paying about $5 a minute for the privilege. Just like porn videos today, the best part of most of these 'tracks is the cover art.

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